Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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