We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
