We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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