Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
