We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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