Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
