I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
