I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat