Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
