the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
