I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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