Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Randomize
