I think my vagina is haunted
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
