ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
