Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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