I have demons in me.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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