strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
