he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I think weed is turning my hair brown
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
