My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
