her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
