I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
