8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize