If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
