Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
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