8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found puke in my bra..
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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