if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
