I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
