I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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