Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
