i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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