Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
