I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize