That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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