he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
