Are we in a gay sports bar?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
