I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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