just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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