1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
