Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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