It's just like the Real World with babies
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
