i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
