Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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