big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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