The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Too much gin, very little bucket
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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