So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
