I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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