Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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