I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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