....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
