3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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