OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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