Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
