SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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