oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
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