i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
