My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
