dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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