I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize
