Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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