Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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