Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
