do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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