i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
