Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize