shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
