Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
No stitches, just platelets and will power
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
