She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I cut my penus on the lid.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
