i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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