if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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